He was a handsome, smartly dressed young man, with a friendly smile. The giveaway was the clipboard.
“Good morning madam” he started.
“I’m sorry” I interjected “I don’t have dealings with doorstep callers.”
“But we are doing a special promotion today, madam, why don’t you hear me out?” It was a lovely smile, quite disarming.
“Well all right then” I said grudgingly “But no promises, mind”
“All customers who sign up to our Gold Star deal today will be entered into a draw to win their complete package absolutely free” he said. He held a leaflet out to me. I noticed that his fingernails were bitten down to the quick. Not absolutely perfect then.
“But what’s your product” I said.
“Oh sorry,” he said “I got carried away with our deal, it is such a fantastic offer. Our product is the best of its kind on the market, and could substantially reduce your carbon footprint”. He paused in his well-practiced spiel to draw breath.
“ It won’t cost you a fortune either” he continued, “In fact it has the potential to save you quite a bit of money”
“ That’s very important ” I told him “ because we’re pensioners, as are quite a few of the neighbours”.
“All the more reason to help you save money then” he said, flashing that lovely smile again. He really was perfect for this job.
“But what’s your product” I said again.
“It’s a wind turbine” he announced proudly.
“A wind turbine?” I said “ Do you mean those windmills that swish away in fields?”
“Exactly” he answered “Your very own though, either mounted on your roof or in your garden, just big enough to generate enough electricity to supply your needs for most of the year. You might save the entire cost of your annual electricity bills.”
“What about the noise” I asked
“You won’t notice it after a while. Ask people who live near railway lines” he said “They never hear the trains.” He smiled again reassuringly..
I reserved my judgement on that one. “Do you have an alternative to your Gold Star promotion” I enquired
“Our Silver Star package madam” he said. “It’s all in the leaflet”
“I don’t have my glasses on at the moment” I said. “What’s the difference?”
“The Silver Star comes flat pack for you to install yourselves”, he answered “But the Gold Star includes full installation”
“I’m sorry, I’m not even going to ask the price” I said “I know my husband would never consider this.”
He smiled again. “Thank you for your time anyway madam,” he said. “My number’s on the brochure in case you change your mind.”
“No chance of that I’m afraid” I said. “But don’t forget to come back when you’ve finished your calls, will you? I expect you’ll be glad of a cup of tea by then”.
“Thanks auntie” he said “It’s really good of you to let me practice on you before I start cold calling. See you later.”
A lamb to the slaughter, I thought sadly, good job it’s only six weeks before he starts at university.
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